ALIEN ICE FALLS ON BROOKLYN

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Chunks of alien ice balls fell from the sky on an 80-degree day in Brooklyn.

Residents were shocked when they saw hundreds of ice balls falling on Brooklyn – on a very warm September day.

Residents were very concerned.  They wanted to know where the balls came from and what it meant.  Some thought it had to do with Climate Change, others thought it had something to do with President Obama’s threat to bomb Syria.

WWN has learned that the ice balls were purposely dropped on Brooklyn by aliens from Planet Gootan.

Dr. John Malley, the Director of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials has told WWN that he has examined the ice balls and can positively identify them as ice balls from Gootan spaceships.

“We have seen this many times before.  The Gootans drop ice balls on communities- as a warning,” Dr. Malley said.  ”Residents have nothing to fear.  If the Gootans were making a serious threat they would have dropped much larger ice balls, and they would have caused much greater destruction.”

But what are the Gootans giving a warning about?

“They are just reminding us that they are here and that they will attack when they want.  But the United Nations and world leaders have been preparing for their attack for thirty years. We are ready.  There is nothing to fear.”

Several older men who were playing chess outside were hit by the ice balls and had to be taken to the hospital.  Luckily no one else was hurt.

Dr. Malley predicts that more ice balls will fall this week and then “the Gootans will go silent for a while.”

ALIEN ROCKS FOUND IN MEXICO!

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Alien rocks, from Planet Gootan, were discovered in Mexico.

The rocks were found in the state of Sonora.  Experts from the U.N. Panel of Extraterrestrials have identified the rocks as being from Planet Gootan.  ”They are definitely Gootan rocks.  No doubt about it,” said Dr. John Malley, the head of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials.

Some thought that the rocks had fallen from a dump truck. They were wrong.  They fell from outer space.  Some thought that the smell was gas, but it’s not… it’s a radioactive, intergalactic substance know as Gooboplasm.

 The U.N. is carefully going to study the rock.  The U.S. military is getting involved as well.  ”We are concerned that the rocks may be weaponized, so we are taking every precaution,” said a representative from the Defense Department.

The rocks contained phosphorite, a chemical chain reaction that could have ignited them as they were been subjected to friction.Phosphorus in rocks, or phosphorite, is usually deposited by sediment – dissolved phosphorus from continental weathering that is brought to the oceans by rivers and streams.

So why did the Gootans drop rocks on Earth?

“Earth has been under attack by the Gootans since November of 2011,” said Dr. Malley.  ”There has been a cover-up by all governments on Earth, and most citizens have not noticed because it has not impacted many populations yet.  But, there is an ongoing attack on Earth by the Gootans.”

Dr. Malley said that the U.N. is proud that they captured the Gootan rocks.  ”It is a major victory in the battle against Planet Gootan.”

FOURTH OF JULY ALIEN INVASION

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WASHINGTON, DC – Alien warriors for Planet Gootan planned to attack Earth today, but the invasion has been averted – thanks to President Obama’s secret negotiations!

“From all indications, the invasion is off,” said a high-ranking administration official.  ”President Obama is fully engaged with the Gootans.”

“The talks are continuing, but for now we believe the danger is over.”

Weekly World News first reported that an invasion was planned after scientists intercepted and translated a radio transmission from space in 2012.

The brief message was decoded by an international team of scientists led by Dr. Gerhard Schultz, who said the transmission was intended for alien scouts already involved in pre-strike activities on Earth.

“Make no mistake about it – aliens from Planet Gootan have served mankind with a declaration of war,” Dr. Schultz said in 2012. “They are already on their way.”

Dr. Schultz said the message indicated that the aliens would invade Earth on July 4, 2013. Other scientists interpreted the message to say the intruders from Planet Gootan would be bringing a “large battalion of fighter spacecraft.”

U.S. officials have worked feverishly to find a way to avert the attack – going so far as to open negotiations with an envoy from the distant planet.

Weekly World News reported in 2007 that former President George W. Bush had met several times with an alien from an unknown world. Sources subsequently revealed that the peace-loving alien was serving as a go-between for Bush and the invaders.

The same alien, who backed Obama in the elections, later helped him negotiate with the attackers – and even took the newly elected President on a top-secret ride in a spaceship to meet their leader.  Since then the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials has confirmed that the alien is from Planet Gootan.

“Without the efforts of the friendly alien from Planet Gootan, we would be bracing for a devastating attack,” said the White House aide. It is believe the aliens were going to use the chaos and distraction of July 4th fireworks to descend quickly into our atmosphere.

But Earth’s good fortune may doom another planet in a remote area of the Milky Way.

“These alien warriors are no saints,” the aide said. “They have been traveling for many years to get here and they aren’t about to just turn around and go home without attacking somebody.

“Unfortunately, another poor planet in another solar system is likely to suffer the wrath of these intergalactic death merchants.”