CARLOS DANGER: THE MOVIE

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Dreamworks has announced plans to film the first Carlos Danger movie!

Carlos Danger (aka Anthony Weiner) is a sexy, bicycle riding former Congressman who takes on big city crime and… wins!  And through it all, he is sexting with hot babes across the Unites States and Russia. The international mensch of mystery – Carlos Danger!

Watch him ride his Citi-Bike:

Watch him post naked photos of himself – while trying to keep his wife and newborn baby happy.

He’s a man of one disguise:

Carlos Danger makes online woman swoon for him in one keystroke.

One sultry tweeter said,  “I really thought Carlos Danger and I were in love. We spoke on the phone daily multiple times a day for 6 months. We had phone sex.  And then he dropped me.  But I know he has a city to save, so it’s okay.”

Look at the body of Carlos Danger.   Would any criminal dare take this man on?

Carlos Danger even seduced male celebrities, including this man:

And now Geraldo, is Carlos Danger’s loyal sidekick.   Carlos Danger and Geraldo are the new Lone Ranger and Tonto.

New York City is in ruins and there’s only one man who can stand up for New York.  His name?  Carlos Danger.

The movie will be in theaters (and on Twitter) in the Spring of 2014.

ROYAL BABY NAMED – MURRAY!

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Kate and William named their newborn royal boy – Murray!   Named after tennis star Andy Murray.

The royal baby is born!  And his name is Murray!

Murray was 5,000 to 1 odds at being picked – and did not appear in the top ten choices:

Prince William and Prince Kate are BIG fans of tennis star Andy Murray, who just won Wimbledon – ending a 77-year-drought of a British winner.  The timing was perfect.  William and Kate agreed that they would name the boy after Andy Murray but William wanted to name the boy Andy and Kate wanted to name him Murray.  Well, we now know who won.

Some Royal Watchers say that the baby was not named after the tennis star, but instead after a character on a very old sitcom – The Odd Couple.  Murray the Cop was a popular character and Prince William and Princess Kate love watching the show on cable.

The Royal couple also love bagels and when they were in New York they ate many bagels from “Murray’s Bagels.”

The couple had so many “signs” so they named the baby Murray.

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles hate the name and are begging the young couple to change the baby’s name, but Kate and William are sticking with — Murray.

As with most things in the royal family, following tradition is a key aspect in figuring out the perfect moniker for the first Prince of Cambridge (which is a title that hasn’t been used in over 190 years).

SVictoria Arbiter, ABC’s royals contributor and daughter of former Queen Elizabeth II press secretary Dickie Arbiter, tells E! News that there was an overwhelming amount of pressure on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge to pick the the best name. And now… 

Long live King!!!

TOWN CRIER REMIX

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Tony Appleton, Town Crier, remixed by Noy Alooshe on YouTube. Check it!

Posted by Jenny Swartch on YouTube… a great Royal baby video!

Tony Appleton demonstrated Monday evening, there’s something to be said for the old-fashioned way of doing things.

Appleton’s ceremonial announcement of the birth of Prince William and Kate Middleton  firstborn son was fit for a king — the future King of England, in fact.

Donning traditional royal garb and a large, feathered hat, Appleton ascended the steps at St. Mary’s Hospital in London just before 9 p.m. local time. As he read the official royal proclamation, cheers could be heard from well-wishers gathered outside.

“On this day, the 22nd of July in the year 2013, we welcome, with humble duty, a future king, the firstborn of Their Royal Highness the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, the third in line to the throne,” he announced with great fanfare. ”And our new prince is the third great-grandchild of Her Majesty the Queen and the grandchild of His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.”

“May he be long-lived, happy, and glorious, and one day reign over us,” he concluded. “God save the Queen!”

Noy Alooshe – nice work!

ROYAL BABY!

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

The Royal Baby is born… According to Royal watchers, Kate Middleton had a boy!

We can’t comment on the exact whereabouts of the Duke and Duchess,” a rep for the Palace told WWN.  “We wouldn’t normally do so in their private time.”

WWN has learned that Kate Middleton has given birth, to a eight pound bouncing baby boy!  And his name is reportedly James.

Aside from the media outlets camped outside the door of the hospital, the heir has another fan who is thrilled that the baby has finally arrived: great-grandmother-to-be Queen Elizabeth.

“I am just so joyful that the little boy has been born,” the 87-year-old monarch said when asked about the baby. “I’m going on holiday.”

Queen Elizabeth reportedly will not see the baby until the baby is properly prepared for the Royal christening.  ”The Queen does not want to meet the baby when he is ‘unclean’,” said a royal watcher.

The weeks-long Royal Baby Watch is finally over.  Kate  was sneaked into the hospital, got her epidural and … gave birth.

In response to a child’s question this week about whether she preferred a great-grandson or great-granddaughter, Queen Elizabeth II remarked: “It better be a boy.  Boy’s are much more durable than girls.

Bat Boy has flown to England to be with the new baby boy.

”During William and Kate’s years-long courtship, media coverage of the couple included intense speculation that Kate, a commoner by birth, might not have been a suitable partner for the future king. For Americans, it is easy to view the couple’s narrative in fairy-tale terms: Ordinary girl marries tall, handsome prince, leveling society’s class system. This makes sense when one gets to appreciate the monarchy’s pomp, circumstance and bling without any of its expense or constitutional details.

But that story line is not quite right. Kate might not have been aristocracy, but neither was she the typical girl next door. The daughter of self-made millionaires, she had flexible hours working for her parents’ party-supply business, or not working, which allowed her to focus her life around her prince. And William and Kate’s popularity ensures the continuation of the monarchy — reinforcing, not eliminating, Britain’s class system.

The Great Kate Wait is over… it’s a boy!!

NEW STAR WARS MOVIE!

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Disney has announced that they have officially decided to make a New Star Wars movie.

Due to there recent acquisition of the Star Wars Franchise, a movie is already in production. Disney Starwars team has decided to go back to the basics in their approach to this new movie. An insider source has said that Naboo will be the main setting for this new blockbuster. Also Jar Jar Binks will be featured as a major character of the new movie.

A spokesperson from Disney relates the reasons for these new developments. “Here at Disney, we believe that Jar Jar did not have a big enough role in the 2nd and 3rd movies and we would like to expand on his contribution to the series. As of now, I cannot disclose the plot of the movie or many of the other characters, however, I believe that Starwars fans will be happy to know that most of the movie will take place in Naboo, and involve the gungans lead by Jar Jar, the people of Naboo, and several Jedi taking on a major threat to the territory. This movie will take place before the Phantom Mennance and Queen Padme will definitely be involved.”

When asked about the fears of die heart Starwars fans and their belief that Disney will ruin the series that they love. Daniel Smith said, “These fans have nothing to fear, Jar Jar Binks has been a favorite character of many, and he provides great comedic relief to otherwise dark and scary series. Furthermore, this next movie will focus on a much younger audience that will appreciate his antics. Starwars was meant to be a children’s series, and Disney would like to get back to its roots of appealing to younger audiences, especially after the criticism that our newest movie The Loan Ranger has faced.”

Sam Johnson one of the project directors at Disney has stated that the movie will mostly likely be released at some point in the summer of 2014. “Get ready Starwars fans, Jar Jar Binks, Queen Padme and a host of new characters will light up the screen once again in a Galaxy Far Far Away!!!”

KATE DELIVERS!

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

The Duchess of Cambridge  went  to the hospital at  5.30am today and delivered a royal baby girl ten hours later!

Prince William was with his wife at the private Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington, west London, where he himself was born in 1982 – when the baby was born.

The last picture of Kate in public before the birth:

‘The Duchess travelled by car from Kensington Palace to the Lindo Wing with The Duke of Cambridge’.

Kate and William, who spent the weekend at Kensington Palace, travelled without a police escort.

Sources told MailOnline that Kate went into labour naturally and things are ‘progressing well’.

Prince Charles arrived at the hospital via train.  The baby is said to look “exactly like Charles.”

The Queen is at Windsor Castle today and was  kept informed about Kate’s condition – and is thrilled that the baby is healthy.

Prime Minister David Cameron said today it was a ‘very exciting occasion’ and whole country and… the world.

Inside the hospital providing help, advice and logistical support were the royal couple’s most loyal aides: Miguel Head, Prince William’s unflappable private secretary, and his young colleague Rebecca Deacon, who works as private secretary to the Duchess.

When his wife went into labor, Prince William played a set of tennis, then left for the hospital:

Palace officials chose to make the announcement that Kate had a girl in an attempt to balance her ‘dignity’ with the fact that social media makes it almost impossible to keep her baby’s imminent arrival a secret.

Queen Victoria, who reigned until 1901, was still sovereign when her great grandchild Edward VIII, who later abdicated, was born third in line in 1894.

William and Kate’s baby is the great great great great great grandchild of Queen Victoria and the present Queen’s third great grandchild.

Dickie Arbiter, a former press secretary to the Queen, said the birth is a historic first.

‘There will be three heirs in waiting while the sovereign is fit and well, and that’s a first,’ he said.

Mr Arbiter said William will be by the Duchess’s side supporting her but the Royal Family will not visit once the new addition arrives.

‘The Queen will be the first to be informed because William will telephone her as soon as something happens’.

ELEVENTH COMMANDMENT FOUND ON MOUNT SINAI!

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

An archaeologist has found a portion of a stone table engraved 3,000 years ago with an eleventh Commandment!

Oxford University professor Rupert Catchpole, 45, made the Earth-shattering find while heading up an excavation near the summit of the famous mountain where tradition says the Ten Commandments were given to Moses by God.

The biblical hero, famously played by Charlton Heston in the film The Ten commandments is said to have brought the list of divinely dictated rules to his people on stone tablets.

And in Exodus 32:19, when he catches the Israelites worshiping the golden calf, he’s said to have broken the tablets in frustration.

“The thing with stone is that it’s often brittle,” says Catchpole.  ”When it breaks, pieces scatter in t every direction.

“In the heat of the moment, Moses may have broken off the eleventh Commandment and either didn’t realize it, or he was just too tired to remember it when he engraved the new tablets for the IIsraelites after they repented. Who knows?”

The portion of stone is about 132 inches wide and 3 inches tall.  Hebrew writing is engraved across it.

“It’s clearly a part of a larger piece,” says the professor.  ”The bottom edge is smooth and bordered with a very ornate design – it’s incredible workmanship.  The top edge is jagged, so it’s easy to surmise that the piece broke off the bottom of a larger table.”

But what does the Commandment actually say?

“This is the difficult bit,” says Catchpole.  ”It appears to read, ‘Thous shalt not spend all day on the Internet.”  It seems absurd and for many years nobody knew what it meant.  But now it is clear.

God must obviously knew that the Internet was coming and that it would be challenge to man’s willpower and moral.

The Egyptian Ministry of State for Antiquities, which is tasked with securing and preserving ancient relics of historic significance, has taken possession of the table fragment, and allowed scholars from Israel to inspect it.

It’s difficult to be sure, says Israeli archaeologist Shlomo Schnur, “but I think the full Commandment reads, “Thou shalt not spend all day on the Internet looking at porn.”  That would make sense, as a show of respect for God.

Experts hope further analysis will settle the matter.

BEER COLOGNE

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
By Dallas Commagreens on July 17, 2013

A new summer ale developed by Samuel Adams has an interesting double use: it can be used as cologne!According to Brewmaster, Tim Caslon, “Our new Samuel Adams summer ale is brewed with a patented technique that infuses the ale with juniper, sage and coriander essences — many of these same essences are found in leading colognes so rather than make our beer drinkers have to go out and buy cologne we put the cologne right in the bottle.”Caslon says, “You can apply the cologne just like you would any regular cologne. Just save a small amount of backwash in the bottle and then pour it  out into your hand and splash it on.”  Caslon added, “the hard part is remembering to save some at the bottom of the bottle because the beer tastes that good.”The cologne beer is currently being tested in 5 sample markets: Houston, Philadelphia, Fresno, Akron and Jacksonville with plans for a full national roll out for early 2014.Women exposed to the new concept have embraced it and embraced the men using it.Laurie Sullivan, a waitress at the Jaguar’s Den in Jacksonville, Florida, where the cologne beer is currently being serves says, “I like the scent and I feel more alive during my shift when the guys put it on. It’s a flowery smell for sure but in a manly kind of way which I like. Some of the guys will give me a hug when they go to leave and I can say they smell great.”  Asked whether she would consider dating one of her sweet smelling customers, the 26-year old brunette added playfully, “Yeah, I am thinking about it for sure. Definitely would be better than dating some guy that smells like some cheap beer.”

MILLIONS OF STINGRAYS WASH ASHORE

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Millions of stingrays washed ashore in the coast state of Veracruz in Mexico.

The massive number of stingrays came ashore this morning. Local authorities first believed that the stingrays may have suffocated after a storm drove them under a pier where they died.

But Professor John Malley, of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials happened to be in Los Angeles giving a speech on the ongoing alien invasion.  He went to Mexico and met with local and federal authorities.  He confirmed that the stingrays had The Mark of the Alien on them and that they were, in fact, killed by aliens from Planet Zeeba.

“This is all part of a pattern.  Birds in Arkansas, salmon in Washington, cows in Holland and ducks in Hungary.  They are all dying because there is an alien invasion going on and the aliens are making their presence known.  Sting rays are just another casualty.”

Biologists, backed by government agents intent on covering up the alien invasion, have launched a separate investigation into the dead stingray mystery.

As the debate continues on, authorities were happy to find a quick solution as to what to do with the stingrays.

The chain gourmet sushi restaurant, NOBU, sent a team of “stingray scoopers” to Mexico to collect the stingrays.  Nobu told WWN “we will be serving ‘stingray sushi’ for the foreseeable future.

Zeeba Sushi will be available for the next year.

FLYING COWS

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
By Tap Vann on July 16, 2013

In Brazil, there have been numerous sightings of flying cows!

Hundreds of flying cows have been spotted in Brazil.  They have pretty much kept in the sky, but several of the cows have crashed to the earth.  Giberto Joao Souza, e5, had been in bed with his wife Lenina when the animal fell through the ceiling of their home in Caratinga, southeast Brazil.

The corrugated roof immediately gave way and the one-and-a-half-ton animal fell eight feet onto Mr Souza’s side of the bed.

His wife, and the cow, both reportedly escaped unharmed.

The flying cows reportedly escaped from a barn in Bahia, Brazil.  They have been flying around the country for the last two weeks.

“It’s so beautiful seeing these cows… flying in the sky.   I love seeing their udders flap in the breeze,” said Lucinda Buowa of Rio.

Some thought the cows were flying up to the moon.

ZIMMERMAN DATING CASEY ANTHONY

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

George Zimmerman was reportedly in close contact with Casey Anthony during his trial – and how he’s dating her!

There were a few similarities between the Zimmerman case and the Casey Anthony case.  In both instances, the state was basically arguing something that they couldn’t prove.  Some legal scholars say in the both instances the prosecutors overcharged the defendant.

But during the Zimmerman trial, and the time leading up to the trial, Casey Anthony was in contact with George Zimmerman – offering support and advice.  ”George was smitten with Casey almost immediately,” said a source close to the court.

During the trial, Zimmerman reportedly met with Casey on a number of occasions and there are rumors that they stayed together in a hotel near the courthouse during the trial.  After Zimmerman was acquitted, Zimmerman reportedly called Anthony first.

“Casey has been keeping a low profile and trying to live a normal life,” said a friend of a court watcher.  ”She can’t help who she falls in love with.  She knows what people will say, but she doesn’t care.  She thinks that George is her soul mate.”

Both Anthony and Zimmerman are free and can not be tried again – although the federal government is trying to go after Zimmerman on Civil Rights violations.

“George and Casey want to move to Europe together and live a quiet life, start a family,” said a source close to Anthony.  ”They think that they will make it as a couple.”

CASEY ANTHONY PREGNANT

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
Sources confirm to WWN  that Casey Anthony is pregnant.

Casey Anthony is pregnant with another child and is reportedly thrilled at the chance to prove she is a good mother even after she was acquitted of killing her first daughter Caylee.

The National Enquirer broke the story based on the claims of multiple unidentified sources saying that the infamous mother is pregnant.

“She just said that she fell in love with a very wealthy man while she’s been in hiding. Casey said he’s taking care of her financially and he’s so obsessed with her that he’ll do anything for her,”  an unnamed insider told the tabloid.

That source also told WWN that “her sugar daddy is someone in the publie eye.  He’s a high profile man, that everyone in America would know.”

Prior to Casey Anthony dating the wealthy man, she was dating this man:

The former murder suspect was in hiding since the July 2011 trial when she was found not guilty of killing her 2-year-old daughter, only appearing in public last week to declare bankruptcy.

Casey is reportedly two months pregnant and is expecting… twins!

The most shocking aspect of the story is that Casey wants to name one of her new babies – Caylee – in honor of her deceased daughter.

Her was the original Caylee:

There is a group of concerned citizens who have created a petition to force Casey to be sterilized, and should she have another baby, they will apparently argue that the child should be turned over to social services. Neither the name of the group- nor the names of any participants- were not listed in the article.

If Casey continues to keep the identity of her partner a secret, it will be the second time that the identity of her child’s father is kept a secret, though she apparently does know the man in this case.

One of the many shocking revelations related to her first daughter Caylee’s murder trial was that a psychaitrist reported that Casey was impregnated when she was passed out at a party at the age of 18-years-old and discovered a while later that she was with child.

Casey is not receiving any money in book and TV deals, and is living on the kindness of her former lawyer and strangers.  And sources say that Charlie Sheen has stated that he is Casey’s mentor.

NATIONAL MUD DAY

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

President Obama declares July 10th – National Mud Day!

Thousands of of kids across America celebrated President Obama’s first National Mud Day.

The President thought it would be fun for kids across America if they could play in the mud for a few days.

Muddy events mandated by the government include wheel barrow races and limbo as well as the crowning of the King and Queen of mud, based on their creative use of mud. 

Eight-year-old Shirley Williams  was chosen as the Queen of Mud, and rewarded with a muddy crown by Michelle Obama

‘It’s fun getting mud all over you,’ she said.

 Mud is a well-known skin purifier, so it just might be that the mud-slicked children of Westland have the healthiest skin in the nation due to their annual mud bath treatment.Members of Congress will also be required to participate in National Mud Day.

National Mud Day will become an annual ritual of wallowing, playing and hanging out in a massive pit filled with 20,000 gallons of water and 200 tons of topsoil proved as popular as ever this year.

All American children will be mandated to participate in National Mud Day.

5,000 YEAR OLD WRITING

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

BEIJING — Archaeologists  have discovered the world’s oldest known primitive writing, dating back 5,000 years.

The writing was discovered in eastern China, and some of the markings etched on broken axes resemble a modern Chinese character.

The inscriptions on artifacts found at a relic site south of Shanghai are about 1,400 years older than the oldest written Chinese language. Chinese scholars are divided over whether the markings are words or something simpler, but they say the finding will shed light on the origins of Chinese language and culture.

The oldest writing in the world is believed to be from Mesopotamia, dating back slightly more than 5,000 years. Chinese characters are believed to have been developed independently.

Inscriptions were found on more than 200 pieces dug out from the Neolithic-era Liangzhu relic site.